Dear Daniel

My dear Daniel, 

How can you already be 1?  I mean really, I remember you coming into the world as if it were yesterday.  Although I am holding on to each memory a little tighter since you may be the last of the Anderson babies.  

You are a dear, sweet boy.  You smile easily and wave at everyone and everything.  Those squirrels outside our house are sure to settle in you have welcomed them so.  Uncle Andy calls you a waving expert and I would have to agree.  You love your mama, that is for sure.  We have spent countless hours together, many in the middle of the night or too early in the morning (you will call that time "the butt crack of dawn" when you are older).  I love when you reach for me and pull on my pants while I am cooking; although I could do without the accompanying crying you like to do at 5:00.  

You certainly adore your brothers and I think the feeling is mutual   You tackle them frequently and "pat" their heads with glee.  Your loud, "talking" also lets us all know where you are since you like to explore on your own, even in pitch dark rooms.

A few of your current talents include: waving, crawling quickly, throwing and catching a ball,  finding things you shouldn't have and putting them into your mouth, knocking on the wall of your bedroom to protest bedtime along with throwing all your nuks on the floor.

A few of your favorite words are:  DADADADADA: but not necessarily to Daddy; nananana for food, and auauauauaua for anything you think is fun.

I love you, Daniel.  Keep growing and learning to love the Lord.

Eating your monkey cookies that Auntie Sara loving made for you.  We love that Auntie Sara!

Opening presents with cousins and Uncle Andy looking on.

Daddy thought you needed a haircut; Mommy wasn't so sure.

You do look pretty handsome with your new hair do

A Cure for the Crabbies

I have been crabby lately.  I certainly have no reason to complain since I get to spend my day with this cutie and his brothers, who are equally smile worthy.

A dream fulfilled

Anyone who really know me knows that I don't really have huge aspirations   I enjoy the little things.  Brown boots, skinny jeans, fun kitchen stuff....the little things.

One thing I have wanted to do forever is holiday baking with friends.  In my imagination we would gather around a kitchen and bake and talk and taste test.

It happened just that way on Wednesday night.  The results of our baking were a bit mixed. My buddies Sarah N. and Bree came over with bags and ingredients and off we set to creating delectable goodness.  I was 1-2, Sarah was 1-2 but Bree was 2-2.  My attempt to melt chocolate for pretzel rods was a failure and ended up as chocolate pretzel bark instead. But with the help of Sarah, my almond bark pretzels turned out perfectly.  Sarah's attempt at an easy Pinterest inspired lemon bar brought the most enthusiasm.  The result was not lemon bars but a real like Sponge Bob creation that went right into the garbage.  We affectionately teased Bree that her chocolate balls looked like turds but in the end they tasted heavenly and the Pioneer Woman Chocolate Truffles with Sea Salt won the night.

Truthfully, it was really the fellowship with these women that made the night a dream come true.  I am so blessed that these ladies are in my life.  We had so much fun we are doing it again next week, this time sugar cookies are on the docket (I have never rolled out sugar cookies).

Sponge Bob

Poorly melted chocolate with crushed pretzel makes delicious bark

Chocolate balls.  AKA: turds

Getting ready to dump Sponge Bob

Success!  Covered pretzels

Delish!

This is Bree.  Isn't she beautiful?

Bravo

About a month ago, Elijah came out of school near tears.  As we walked to the van he passionately spilled, "I didn't get a part.  I'm just a stupid singer."  I knew instantly what he was talking about, the K-1 Christmas concert.  He had decided last minute to try out for a part (mostly because his buddies were also trying out).  I did my best to console him and off we went.  When we got home and got to the business of going through his bag I was shocked.
"Elijah, you got a solo!"
 "Yeah, a stupid singer."
We then went into an in depth conversation about how only really talented kids get to sing in front of everybody.  How having a solo is still having a part.  How God had given him a talent and he needed to share it not keep it to himself.
He wasn't super convinced but we set out practicing each day after school.  And then, the big night was finally here.  Elijah, was less than excited.  First, he doesn't really like to be in front of everybody in the huge auditorium.  Second, I made him wear his good shoes and a dress shirt, tucked in!  Third, he was singing with three girls.
He did so great!  This mom could not have been more proud of him.  He faced the audience, he directed the girl he was sharing the mic with to face the audience, and he sang beautifully.
This morning he gleefully tore up his song sheet and said, "I'm never doing that again!"

We'll see, buddy.  I have a feeling this will not be your last performance.

Favorite Things

I am headed to a "Favorite Things" party with the group I affectionately call "The Supper Club".  (We are much tamer than the "Breakfast Club" but a bit more wild than the "Lunch Bunch".)  My wonderful friend Sarah N. hosts each month and everyone else makes or buys something to add.  We have wildly entertaining conversation and super delicious food and we solve all our life's problems in about 2 hours.

Sarah sent out beautiful invitations weeks ago so I have had a lot of time to think about what I want to bring for our gift exchange.  {Each attendee is to bring five of her favorite item.}  I have mulled this over in my head for hours.  Should this really be so difficult?

So I brought it to a higher power.  My first Sara, the person who knows me best.  Her immediate response,  "Well, you don't have favorite things."

So that explains why I draw a blank every time I try to come up with my favorite thing.  I don't have favorite things.  I have things I like, things I think are convenient, things I would like, but no favorite things.  I just don't value things that much.  I make due with what I have and sometimes make things to fill a need but I don't always purchase the same item, brand, or luxury.

I do have favorite people, favorite scripture, favorite places to hang out, favorite meals and treats to share with others.

So, what's a girl to do.  The party is two days away and still no favorite thing......

Turning 7

Sorry buddy, I didn't mean to put off posting about your birthday for so long.  Moving really threw a wrench in things.  Thank you for being so patient and understanding about all of it.

You are seven.  The fact that you have been in this world for seven years shocks me.  I have loved every minute of being your mom.  Thanks for being my experimental child.  Sorry, I have made so many mistakes on you.  Here is the picture recap of your day.
I love you more than the words in my brain can express!
Mom

The annual "Special Day" doughnut.  You also requested baked french toast for dinner.  This year we added coffee, which for some strange reason you like.

Daddy is so silly (and a bit strange).  He brought in your "present", a brand new plunger. You feigned excitement but we both knew what you were really looking for....

It wasn't a shovel either.....

It was a skateboard.  You had been asking for a skateboard for your birthday since September when an older boy at the apartment showed you some tricks.  We kept teasing you that 7 was the year of underwear but you weren't buying it.

You made us so proud at the talent show on your birthday night.  You took People's Choice first prize for K-2.  What a brave young man you have become!

A house on Elm Street

Putting things into boxes and moving is becoming quite the skill; one I pray is put to rest for a VERY long time.  Chris and I have been searching for a house since June.  Our wonderful agent, Angie, has been very patiently showing us houses, emailing encouragement, and just plain sticking with us.  And then, one Saturday a familiar house came up for sale.  It was a house Chris had wanted to look at in June but I said no way because it was a dump and needed more work than I could visualize.  But, the Lord knew this was to be our home and had someone else do the work.  All it took was one tour and we knew this was the one.,After what seemed like an endless search, suddenly it was time to pack up and move across town.  Here is a peak at what that looked like.

ps....a week in and I only have 2 boxes left to unpack but a lot of bare walls and dreams.

Our new home!  John really loves the doorbell.

Boxing up your life really makes you think about all the stuff you have.  This is only 2/3 of them.

Our wonderful friend Joe and his amazing Mercedes van.  I am sure it is the ritziest moving truck around.

Boxes in the new dining room.

Moving The Beast, aka the treadmill, which I had to promise to use.

It did take 5 guys to get it down the stairs, so I will honor them and use it.

Thank you so much, Andy, Tim, Dominique, Seth, Joe, Jay, Dad and Ellie for moving us.  Thank you Sara for keeping the kids. ( I think you had the harder job.)

Witnessing accomplishments

Out of the blue on Monday, Daniel started clapping.  Grandma Pearl was over to help me get some pre-move out cleaning done.  Daniel is especially enamored with Grandma Pearl so when she started clapping he grinned and copied her.  She was thrilled that she was the first to witness his new accomplishment and he was thrilled to show off his new accomplishment again and again.

It is pretty cute. Oh, these boys bring me so much joy.

Three Boys in a Tub....

I know I must be crazy to put all three of these boys in the tub at the same time but trust me when I tell you I had my reasons.  Not the least of them was the pure glee they each had.  I am certain I will be greeted with eye rolls and "Mom!" someday when they see this picture but seriously, how could I not take one (okay, two pictures).

The one in the middle, the cute, squishy one, he made the biggest, wettest mess of all of them.  That boy loves to splash!  I came out of the bathroom looking like I had "an accident".  The other two giggled themselves right into bed and fell asleep from exhaustion.  If you know anything about their giggles you know Mom was giggling along with them, even when I had to ask the squirrely one five times to put on his jammies (he just couldn't do it, mostly because he took them off inside out or inside in, if you ask him).  The responsible one (who listened & looked at the camera) made sure they all actually used soap which was good since Mom was trying to hide tears and find three clean towels.

There is something about the joy in each of these dear boys' faces that makes me a little teary, even now.  I pray they remain so fond of each other; that their bond as brothers and Andersons will not be broken. I pray they keep each other accountable, out of most trouble, and that they walk through life together, learning and growing about the Great God we serve.

Attitude Adjustment

When I was a kid Mom would offer attitude adjustments by way of twisting my big toe.  It hurt but usually resulted in a squeal or scream and a few laughs.

God offers attitude adjustments with pain as well.

I have been blessed to be able to attend the Thursday morning Bible study at our church.  This is my first crack at it and I love it.  The mixture of ages and view points and insights is amazing.  The study is amazing but difficult.  Who wants to learn that their complaining is a slap in the face of their Provider?  Who wants to know that to covet is to tell the Sustainer, "You are not enough."?  Who wishes to hear that their critical tongue cuts off their fellowship with their Father?

I do.

Frankly, I need an attitude adjustment and can see that God has had me in the midst of one for over a year.  Breaking free from the negative environment of work has really opened my eyes to how much of a whiner I was while teaching.  It makes me almost sick to think of the mar that put on my witness to my co-workers.  Apartment living revealed a deep seeded coveting and worldly desire for material things.

And now this week.... criticizing.  I call it being analytical but God isn't fooled by my clever cover up.  I have a feeling this week will bring about the biggest attitude adjustment yet.

With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring?  My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. James 3: 9-12

Danger Men

My once very "fareful" Elijah is transforming into a daredevil.  My always "on the edge of disaster" John is remaining so.  My adorable, stationary baby is motating and "helping.  See for yourself.

Learning...together

My sister often comments that she is without the mothering gene, which is just ridiculous, but she didn't ask me.  I am the one missing crucial genes.  Like the one for teaching small children.  Like the one for how to decorate my home.  Like the one on how to convince 8 month-olds to sleep through the night.

But, John and I, together, are learning.  Last week we delved into the "Letter of the Week" preschool curriculum I found online for free.  Often you get what you paid for but in this case I hit the jackpot.  I can whip up lesson plans torturing 8th graders with analytical questions on any story but ask me to teach a small child and I run to the corner and cry.  This curriculum lays out language arts, math, science, art, social studies, music, and character/Bible lessons.  We are skipping the studies on composers and artists; somehow I don't think John will miss that.

John seems to be enjoying himself and even figured out the other day that letters are everywhere.  "Hey mom," he said while we were in the van, "that sign has the letters O and P on it."  I might not be too bad at this small child teaching thing but I should disclose that he did cry the first day because tracing straight lines was too hard.  (If only he knew about algebra, now that is something to cry about.)

My favorite is Wednesday because we do art.  Last week it was apple stamping and this week was bubble painting.  We also really like Friday because we get to cook: apples last week and brownies this week.

What am I learning?  How to be a mom whose focus is her family.  It is much harder than you might think.  I constantly have to remind myself that this is where God wants me to be right now.  It is so outside of my comfort zone to exercise patience, love, forgiveness in a never ending cycle all day long.  My affirmation comes in smiles from Daniel and declarations of letters from John and in the peace my heart feels.



Lesson #1: Chalkboards are way better than worksheets.



"Don't tell Elijah it was me!"

Out with a Splash

Saxcitrepdar

A feeling has been creeping up on me for a few weeks now.  I can't quite name it though.  It is a strange mixture of sadness and excitement with a bit of trepidation and all out fear.  Anyone got a name for that?  I didn't either so I made one up.  Saxcitrepdar.

I knew once I resigned my job and my daytime identity there would be days, hours, & minutes that I would second guess that decision.  "Are you really called to stay home or are you just tired of all the hard work of teaching?"  That is the question that swirls in my brain at night.  Fear.

"What if you are no good at being a mom all the time?"  If this summer is any indication of my mom skills I have a lot of work to do.  Most of it needs to be done on my knees.  Trepidation.

Yesterday I had lunch with my teacher friends.  As they talked about plans and lessons and things they were upset about and things they were excited for I sat back and felt a bit sad.  Every year for 8 years I have planned, dreamed, and designed learning for big kids.  Each year I have started out hopeful that I could impact a kid or two and maybe kids would learn to love reading just a little bit more.  Sadness.

A letter a week.  That is what John and I will be tackling.  I found a free preschool curriculum online and so, with the extra lesson plan book I had, I have plotted out the weeks for A and B.  John informed me today that he hates preschool because he can't read.  Maybe, just maybe, he will be able to do a little reading by the end of the school year.  Maybe.  Excitement.

Saxcitrepdar:  the mixture of sadness and excitement along with trepidation and all out fear one experiences when heading into a part of life that is unfamiliar to them.

Oh the places he will go

Daniel is now mobile and very determined.  Here are a few places he likes to go.

Under the side table to get the lamp cord.

In Mommy's room to get the fan cord.

Across the room to get the monitor cord.

Up on the chair to get our brother's game.

Did you know?

I am an incredibly naive girl.  I always have been.  As a child (who am I kidding, even as an adult), things that other people knew I was ignorant off.  I can remember a conversation I had with a classmate when I was around 10 or 11 about AC/DC.  I thought he was talking about the power source of my new stereo.  It turns out he was actually talking about some rock band.

So, it never occurred to me that many of the products I buy I could actually be making myself.  A year or so ago my sister informed me I could be making my own laundry detergent.  So, I gave it a whirl and have been doing that ever since. 

Then I found out I could make my own cleaning products.  Did you know that old fashioned baking soda and vinegar get a toilet sparkling clean and sanitized?  Vinegar and water and a little essential oil makes a great room refreshing spray that is even better then Febreeze?

It also never occurred to me that I could make my own dishwashing detergent but today I did.

I have a few things I want to try to make on my own instead of buying. 1. hand soap  2. make-up (this one scares me a bit)  3. taco seasoning   4. cough remedy 

Who knew?!

"New Things" Week

I glean much joy from cooking and planning weekly menus.  Every once in a while I get the wild idea to have a theme for the week.  This week the theme was "new things."  I like to encourage the kids to try new things and I like to try new recipes.  We tried anchovies, chard, a new recipe, and making our own pizza dough this week.  The key success was the pizza dough actually rose!  The major bust was the anchovies.

This is the tomato, anchovies pasta salad.  We didn't love it.  I don't think the lemon based dressing fit our taste buds.

This is chard.  I made a Chard in Red Sauce recipe.  Chris and I loved it.  I am thinking it will become a regular side dish for us.

Nuts, Evangelizing & Scooting

You may be asking yourself what these three things have in common because they are seemingly random.  Each one relates to one of my little beloveds.

Nuts:  On Father's Day, Elijah had an allergic reaction to cashews.  He threw up, twice.  His face got a little puffy and his eyes were red and watery.  I didn't really think anything of it (avoiding cashews would not be a problem, or so I thought)  until I talked to my lifetime friend, Sarah.  Her son Caleb has allergies and she suggested we get Elijah tested.  She told me that often times reactions can get worse with each exposure.  So, off we went.  Monday, Elijah braved the dreaded prick skin test.  I wish I could get the picture to load.  It was a sight.  The cashew reaction was HUGE along with walnuts, pistachios, and pecans (oops,he had some of those on Saturday in ice cream.)  The one that makes him most sad is hazelnuts.  He has a deep love for Nutella.

Evangelizing:  John has been evangelizing to our neighbors.  He is quite bold about it.  Stomping after the kid who was riding his bike.  John declared, "Jesus, you know, the Lord!  He died on the cross for our sins."  Yesterday over an apple snack with the same neighbors he casually brings up, "So, do you know God?" 
I love this kid so much!

Scooting:  Daniel is officially mobile.  He is very attracted to cords and all things he should not have.  He will crawl almost anywhere for this "You Are My Sunshine" toy that I mentioned in a previous post.

How Daniel spent Thursday

I am pretty sure Daniel is trying to log a complaint with the Parenting Board about me.  The latter noises are how most of the day sounded.....until Daddy got home.

Loneliness

We both knew it was coming.  After the death of my Aunt Sharon, my Grandma Pearl's last daughter, we predicted that Grandma was going to have a hard time.  Caring for and fussing over Sharon had filled Grandma's life for three years.  Without the hours spent fretting and bossing Grandma is lonely.  Very lonely!

Her loneliness manifests itself in various ways.  Driving to Harrisburg unannounced is her newest one.  She calls my beautiful sister at a minimum of twice a day.  It also manifests itself in some very difficult ways.  She uses harsh words when it comes to her great grandkids and the parenting of her granddaughters.  She speaks meanly about her neighbors.

I love Grandma for so many reasons.  I can see God using this situation to refine me and as my beautiful sister has blogged, her as well.  I pray that as Jeremiah writes I can somehow show Grandma that God intends to "turn [her] mourning into gladness."  He continues, declaring the word the Lord gave him, "I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow....and my people will be filled with my bounty."  Jeremiah 31: 13-14.

Things learned on vacation...

...some of which need to be unlearned at home!

We have been (more or less) on vacation since July 13.  Eleven days of less structure, fun, food, family, friends, treats, adventures, and less structure (Oh, wait! I already said that.).  In that time the boys have learned some great and some not so great things.

1.  If we ask for it we will get it.  That means cookies at 8:00 AM or a movie about penguines that dance or pizza from Papa John's.

2.  If Daniel cries, there is always someone to pick him up.  Immediately!

3.  4-wheelers, tractors, sling-shots, pellet guns, and bouncy horses are all great entertainment and pale in comparison to what we have at home.

4.  If Daniel cries in the night or at nap Mommy is magically there in mere seconds.

5.  Bedtime is a myth.

6.  Life jackets make you float in the pool but no life jacket means you sink.

7.  Soda and cookies and ice cream and juice and cupcakes go with any meal.

8.  If we ask enough (nag) we usually get what we want.  (see number 2)

9.  When Great Aunt Patty asks if we like snakes that means we get to go to a really cool place with a lot of them.

10.  Police officers have really cool stuff (no, we didn't get arrested).

11.  Rest areas are a blessing.

12.  Ties on little boys are so adorable.

You Are My Sunshine

Daniel recently received a rather annoying toy from Grandma Donna.  It sings, "You are my sunshine" over and over and over and over (mostly because he is chewing on it or laying on top of it).  So, I go about my day humming, singing, or running that song through my head.

The thing is that song is a painful reminder that the woman who used to sing that song to me is no longer here.  Legend has it she used to sing "You Are My Sunshine" to me and my beautiful sister when we were in the bathtub.  I, of course, do not remember this but I do remember my mom signing letters she sent to me with parts of that song.

She passed away ten years ago today.  I miss her dearly and pray that one day I can get just one more hug and hair stroke from her.

Deep Dark Secret

It is no secret that Daniel is cute.  He is smiley.  Daniel is a good eater.  He is generally a very good natured baby. 

Our secret is that Daniel is not sleeping through the night.  And I have to say it...I stronglly dislike people who have babies who sleep through the night on their own because I am at a loss on how to get this one to sleep through the night.

We have been working on sleeping through the night in a serious way for the past few weeks.  But, it never fails, at between 3 and 3:30 AM he decides to wake up, and then sometimes he wakes up again at 4 and then at 5 (when I finally feed him).  He hasn't been fed overnight for several weeks but that has not twarted his attempts at night time attention.

I feel like I should have this figured out by now. He is my third son.  He, however, is not like his brothers who needed just one night of crying for 10-15 minutes.  No, Daniel, cries for an hour before Chris or I break down and go give him his pacifier and a pat to let him know we still love him.  The bags under my eyes and the ecezema breakout on my hand attest to the stress I am feeling.  We have a couple weekends of trips coming up and sleeping for more than 5 hours would be so refreshing.

He is really cute though....see...

Crime and Punishment

I'm going to have to keep a closer watch (and perhaps a hand at all times) on John.  Yesterday, while visiting the neighbors John and his buddy Evan found a marker.  A PERMANENT marker.  One of them decided it would be fun for them to write on the walls with it, after they had decorated their faces. 

Me:  John, why did you do that?  You know better than to write on walls!
John:  I....I...I don't know.  I just did it.

He was sentenced to a very embarrasing time-out at a friends as well as a loooooong time out at home.  He also had to "write" an apology and fork over his spend money from his bank.  All $11.66 of it.

A friend at FCA camp mentioned that she is certain God uses our children to shed light on the areas we need to work on.  I am praying for submissive spirits for both John and I.

Top:  John and Evan's handywork with the permanent marker.  He was not happy about me documenting his crime. 
Bottom:  John's letter and his money.

Mission Trip Recap

I meant to get this post out before we left for our other mission trip, FCA camp at Black Hills State University, but it just didn't happen.

It turns out, that walking across the driveway, the street, the hallway, or whatever is not that difficult.  God opens doors and hearts and begins to build relationships in the strangest of places.

We, as a family, walked across the complex and delivered a bike, that in turn delivered the biggest smile.  The little boy was hardly able to contain himself and his mother was so over-whelmed she kept asking if she could give me some money.  She also kept apologizing for her son's constant asking if he could ride Elijah's bike (I assured her it was not annoying, but only let us know his deep desire.)

Chris and I both explained that this was a gift.  That we have been so blessed and had a friend who was blessed with this bike and we felt God leading us to give the bike to her son.  She told us about how she works 10 hour shifts at a Sioux Falls casino.  She cares for her two children and her nephew.  She told me about going to Catholic school in Iowa and how she is doing the best she can. 

I pray for more opportunities to minister in my area.  After a week at FCA camp my eyes were jerked open to the needs of kids who look so "together".  I prayed for a girl who is suffering from lock jaw but came to be a huddle leader (think camp counselor) because she just had so much love for Jesus, she had to share it.  I prayed for a huddle leader who had several kids in the huddle start sentences with "I've never told anyone this but..."  I prayed for my step-nephew who suffers under the hold of addiction.  He was at camp and he thanked Chris for getting him to camp.  (Only, it wasn't Chris, it was God working through him.)  Such uunimaginable things were shared, such sad things, and my fervor for prayer was reignited. 

Mission Trip

I have felt the calling to go on a mission trip for several years.  Pregnancies and babies have squashed my dreams of flying way to Haiti to build an orphanage and hug hundreds of attention starved children.

I am going on a mission trip today.  I don't even have to pack a bag or have a passport.  I am simply going to walk across the apartment complex and share the love of Jesus with a neighbor.  God has really opened my eyes to the hurting people who live within a few yards of my front door.  I really stink at sharing Jesus so I am desperately praying for more of Him and less of Suzanne.

More to come....

Two Different

Elijah and John are about as different as two people can be.  I can barely fathom how Daniel will wiggle his way into the equation.

As obedient as Elijah is, John is reluctant to listen.
As active as John is, Elijah covets a jammie day.
Elijah is a planner (the over the top, nag you until you want to scream kind).  John is ready for an adventure at any moment.
Elijah is so soft hearted and sensitive.  John is rough and sensitive.
Elijah is very concerned about fairness and justice.  John just wants to get away with it. 

I love these boys so much.  I can only continue to pray that for as different as they are that they would find common ground through Jesus and forge a life-long friendship.  And include their baby brother every now and again.

Baking Joy

I love baking and cooking.  I especially love trying new recipes.  I have always wanted to make a cake from scratch so when my BFF decided to host a BBQ I quickly volunteered to whip up an Almond Joy Cake.  Here's how it went:

 All the ingredients needed.( I didn't need the oil; just a stick of butter.)

 I am so messy in the kitchen.  At this point I had discovered I didn't have enough sugar.  Thanks to the neighbors!

 Cakes baked

 Cut and filled with yummy coconut almond filling.  My layers did fall apartbut I just glued them back together with the filling.

The finished product with homemade cream frosting.