Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Ridiculous Things I Say to my Kids

In my head I have written this blog post no less than five times.  Chris has been out of town on the East Coast doing ministry for the past 5 days and single parenting makes me want to consume large amounts to ice cream and chocolate.

I was stuck the other day by the ridiculous things I say to my kids.  Here they are with what I am sure they are all thinking as they hear me say them.

1.  Do you want a (insert appropriate punishment here)?
              ~Why yes, Mom, I do want a (insert appropriate punishment here).  That is why I am doing
                this slightly naughty, high annoying thing, so you will punish me!

2. Tell your brother you are sorry!
              ~ Sorry (but I'm not sorry.  I'm only saying this because Mom just told me to and I am trying
                 to avoid the "Do you want a (insert appropriate punishment here)" question.

3.  Why did you do that?
             ~Uh, gee, Mom...

4.  Who left the toilet lid open?
             ~ Not me! 

5.  There is no dating until you are 25.
              ~ Dating?  Who wants to spend time with girls, unless of course it is the neighbor girls, they
                always share their treats!

6.  We're going to (insert destination here), please use the bathroom.
               ~ They do have several bathrooms or even a tree there, Mom.