I knew once I resigned my job and my daytime identity there would be days, hours, & minutes that I would second guess that decision. "Are you really called to stay home or are you just tired of all the hard work of teaching?" That is the question that swirls in my brain at night. Fear.
"What if you are no good at being a mom all the time?" If this summer is any indication of my mom skills I have a lot of work to do. Most of it needs to be done on my knees. Trepidation.
Yesterday I had lunch with my teacher friends. As they talked about plans and lessons and things they were upset about and things they were excited for I sat back and felt a bit sad. Every year for 8 years I have planned, dreamed, and designed learning for big kids. Each year I have started out hopeful that I could impact a kid or two and maybe kids would learn to love reading just a little bit more. Sadness.
A letter a week. That is what John and I will be tackling. I found a free preschool curriculum online and so, with the extra lesson plan book I had, I have plotted out the weeks for A and B. John informed me today that he hates preschool because he can't read. Maybe, just maybe, he will be able to do a little reading by the end of the school year. Maybe. Excitement.
Saxcitrepdar: the mixture of sadness and excitement along with trepidation and all out fear one experiences when heading into a part of life that is unfamiliar to them.
2 comments:
Hi Suzanne! A similar post has been percolating in my mind lately. Once a teacher, always a teacher, right? I hope you enjoy your newest teaching assignment!
That word describes my life at the moment too. Glad you're a clever word inventor!
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