Thursday, July 24, 2014

Summer Fun

We finally got summer weather this week.  So, we finally pumped up the pool I bought last September on clearance.  We invited the neighbor boys and had a party.

Hello, my name is Micah.  I am nearly 8 months old and I love outdoors and eating.

Elijah's new favorite pose.  I'm not sure when he got so big.

Proving he's a "man" by jumping into freezing water, John is always up for a dare.

For Daniel, it's all about the splash and throwing things in
Brotherly love for Mom's sake.

Saturday, July 19, 2014


Sometimes I get too comfortable in my life.  I forget the blessings.  I forget gratitude.

This week I was reminded how ridiculously blessed I am.  I experienced first hand how a matter of inches and seconds can change everything.  Ever. Y. Thing. 

Thursday morning I prayed that the Lord would equip me for the day.  That He would give me what I need specifically to mother each of these very different boys.  That He would keep me mindful of Him all day.

Around 4 o'clock John and Daniel were playing in the basement.  Around 4:15 there was a large, loud crash and a scream for help.  A desperate, scared scream.  I was unprepared for what I saw at the bottom of the stairs.

A bank of lockers we had put in were laying on top of my darling blue eyed boy.  Heavy metal lockers.  Lifting them and trying to get John out I cried out. "Oh Lord!"  It was all I could muster. 

A few inches.  A head instead of a leg.  His arm instead of the fleshy part of his femur.

Around 5 o'clock I started getting ready to grill dinner.  Around 5:15 there was a fire and a cry for help.  A desperate, scared cry.  I was unprepared to fight the fire.

A new propane tank was leaking and as I reached to turn it off it burst into flames.  Rescuing John and Micah from the deck and getting Daniel out of the backyard happened quickly but then things started to slow down.  I had the fire extinguisher but I could not remember how to use it.  I called for the neighbor while another neighbor ran to the rescue.  As he grabbed the fire extinquisher the tank made a loud sound and fire burst everywhere. 

A few more seconds.  Our house instead of the grill. 

I live a ridiculously blessed life because He allows me to.  To take that for granted is selfish and so ungrateful.

I cried Thursday night.  I cried for what could have been.  I cried for His great mercy on our family.  I cried in repentance of my sinful heart.

Saturday, July 12, 2014


"Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." James 4:14

A mist, here and gone in a moment.  This was a week of mourning.  Three lives lost, three mists vanished.

Tuesday I found out a boy I had attended high school had passed away.  While not close with him now, back in the day we had been close friends.  He even took me to my senior prom when no one else would.  He left behind a wife and four children and countless friends.  I was troubled all week about how it happened and why.  Then the Spirit led me to realize it wasn't really about how or why.  What really bothered me was the thought that 36 years was not enough and how unfair it was to his wife, his children, his parents, his sister.  While I prayed and sought comfort, I remained uncomfortable because in truth I cling too tightly to this life.  To my life. 

Wednesday I cried with my dearest friend at the news that her father had passed away.  Resting in Heaven, free from the work it took him to breath, were not much comfort to a friend who was heartbroken.  Able to have a great spiritual conversation with him a few months back she is thankful he knew the Lord, but her heart still hurt.  My heart hurts for her, I know the sting of loosing a parent.  A mist here for 70 some years and now vanished. 

Thursday I tried to pull the covers over my head and avoid the day.  Twelve years ago my mom, a mist for 47 years, vanished.  God grew me a lot after her death; in hard ways He revealed himself to me.  And as I celebrate those years of growth I still dread July 10.  I hate the memory of Chris coming to talk to me at the Black Hills State library where I was studying.  I remember thinking he was so sweet for coming to surprise me.  I remember the realization of what the visit was really about.  In the days before everyone had a cell phone he had received the news from my beautiful sister and was the one to bring it to me.  I hate the feeling it brings to my heart.

I am a mist who clings too tightly to this life.  
Who works daily on letting go of my selfishness.  
Who is counting blessings to grow more grateful, more beautiful in the sight of God.   
Who is "counting it all joy" to be in a season of testing because I want more than anything to develop perseverance so that I "may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." {James 1:2}

Tuesday, July 8, 2014


While spending time at my in-laws Chris dug out a very old, small motorcycle.  Yikes!

While I said no Chris explained how he had ridden such a bike at Elijah's very same age.  Yikes!

I have to admit I am proud of my careful-kid for trying something so daring.