Loving God

"Mom, would you still love God if Dad didn't come home safe?"

This question greeted me bright and early a few weeks ago.  It took my breath away.  Chris had been out of town for a few days doing ministry.  He would not be returning for a few more days.

"Yes, I would."  I replied, trying to hide how shaken I was.  Plowing ahead, I also shared that I would be really sad, probably angry at God, and lonely.  Looking only at my sweet baby, I delved into something I know in my head but have rarely had to put into practice in real life; I believe God is good and that no matter what comes my way He works it for His good.

And then a sweet baby we have been praying for died.  I'm a bit soft hearted when it comes to babies so when we heard that this precious boy needed a miracle we had been praying most nights for him.  Then I met him and got to hold his squishy hand in the nursery.  Then he died.

"Mom, do we still love God; the baby died?"

This question greeted me late in the evening.  It took my breath away.  We had interceded, expecting the miracle but God said no.  Snuggled together, tears flowing, "God is still good.  He knows what the baby needed.  He knows how this situation is going to be used for His glory."

I pray these questions and real life moments allow the realness of God grow in my boys hearts.  And in mine.  I never want the mistaken notion that life is always good for those who love God to take root in their hearts.  Or in mine.