...not who I want to be. ...not a good single mom....addicted to TV and snacks....not sure why this Christian living thing is so hard....a hypocrit....tired...not sure how to get unstuck....braindead.
...whining....always sure I will be better next week.
On the outside, things look normal. But my spirit has been so weighed down as of late. My mind is constantly swimming with all that I should do but yet I find my butt glued to the couch at night and my eyes staring at the TV while my Bible sits on the hutch behind me and the laundty sits beside the couch. I go to sleep sure that I can resist the sweets, that I will work out, that I will get out of bed early for quiet time, that I will do housework a little at a time, that I will be a better mom tomorrow.
I guess I am in good company. Paul too struggled with doing what he knew was right. He too knew that he needed God's command. I am allowing my sin, my enemy, to defeat me. But, my God is a deliverer, a protector, a merciful Father. He will carry out His good work in me, eventually.
For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Romans 7:18-19
2 comments:
Good post! You're such a good sport about laying your life bare. Let's pick out some memory verses...you know I love me some index cards! :-)
Ah, Suzanne, I've been there. It seems like a pit that you just can't find the first step out. I have felt so overwhelmed that I couldn't see where to begin. Just remember you are never alone. You have lots who love you just a phone call away.
BTW, that is a cute picture of your family. Love your smile!
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