Gratitude

As Thanksgiving nears, it is quite the trend to do something to recall what one is thankful for.  Pinterest is all abuzz with thanksgiving trees, sticks, jars and whatnot.  I think this is all well and good but after reading (for the second time) and studying in depth Ann Voskamp's book, "1000 Gifts" a month of gratitude is not what we are called to.

 "Rejoice always!  Give thanks in all circumstances...."  Paul, empowered by the Holy Spirit, shares this command in his first letter to the Thessalonians.  David shares it throughout the Psalms.  God commands it in through the writer of Chronicles.  We are to give thanks all year long.  All the time.  Every day. 

Sometimes it takes me a while to catch on to what God wants me to do.  Last year I felt so convicted during a Bible study on attitude.  In reflection the one that made me most nervous was the study on replacing complaining with thankfulness.  Then my Bible study buddies kept talking about this great book I should read.  One of them finally borrowed me hers.  And then, the ladies Bible study at church decided to do the study on that same book.

The one point that struck me hardest was that the root of joy in our lives comes from having a thankful spirit.  As a girl who feels called to be joyful I began to see that I will never succeed in being joyful always until I give thanks in all circumstances.  So I began a list. {I love a good list.}  Ann Voskamp's challenge is to list 1000 blessings, things to be thankful for.  I am at 95.

Opening my eyes to all the wonderful gifts my Creator has laid before me has begun to melt my heart in some pretty serious ways.  One has been my current role in life.  Going from the teacher in charge to the mom at home has not been an easy transition for me.  Many days I feel like a maid, cook, laundry and taxi service all rolled into one.  And don't get me started on how unappreciated I am.  But as I list out all these gifts I see that God has me right where He wants me and blessing the big and little men in my life is my gift to them.

All the men, big and little, in this picture are on my list.  The baby to join us in 6 weeks is on the list.  So is the talented friend who took it.  As are the beautiful surroundings,

Fresting

My beautiful friend Bree asked me today what made up word I am.  I had to think on it for a good long while before I came to fresting.  A delicate interweaving of freaking out and nesting.

Why freak out?  We are bringing home child number four in 8ish weeks.  That freaks me out.  After Elijah was born I was certain one child was all I could handle but Chris convinced me that another one (or two) would be okay.  I am just getting comfortable with three and now here comes four (the one I begged Chris for).  What was I thinking?  Good thing I have a God who equips the weak and commands me to "Be strong and courageous!"  If it worked for Joshua I am praying it works for me.

I am also freaking out (just a little bit) because I am feeling like I need to get a whole bunch of things done before this baby arrives.  Like Christmas.  But if you know me you know I am a last minute shopper, not the "all done in November" kind at all.  I am thinking I will take a cue from my much wiser older sister and rely on the internet and delivery for this holiday season.  Freezer meals is also looming over my head.  I know my family would survive and John would think it was great if we ate eggs, pancakes, cereal, and mac and cheese for a month but the nutrition voice in my head says otherwise.

The nesting never ends.  I want to make sheets so new baby has cozy, flannel to sleep on.  I made a wrap but want to "finish" the edges so it looks nicer (for who I don't know; it's just in my head).  I need to get the dresser from Grandma Louise and move the other one into the "littles" room.  Then I need to wash some baby clothes, although I don't want to wash too much of it because this baby might be a girl and then I'll just have to put all that blue away.  (Please be a girl!)

Oh well!  Either way, fresting or not, a baby is coming in 8 weeks to join these three (I found this picture while getting things ready for a Christmas present for John...maybe there is hope.)

Daniel Days

We "borrow" whatever electronic device we can find and attempt to hack it.

We learn.

Shhhh!  We play with our brother's toys.

We lunch with our best buddies.

We make messes and then, "Clean up, clean up...."

We also read a million books, take a nap, and snuggle.

Pregnancy Prattle

Here we are 28 weeks into my fifth pregnancy.  I feel like I am at least 36 weeks in and, apparently, I look that way too.  Why is it that people can say so much with a look and be so insensitive?

"Oh, you look like you are due about the same time as my daughter."  Really, when is that?  "October"  Not even close buddy, try two more months.

"When are you due?"  December.  "Oohhh."

I'm getting over it. Maybe.

As I was rubbing magic potions on my belly to try to ease the stretchmarks of my stretchmarks it dawned on me that the magic potion probably works better if you used with pregnancy one.  I'll keep using it anyway, just in case.

I probably am just too old this time around.  I was 26/27 when I was pregnant with Elijah.  29 when I was pregnant with John and 32/33 when I was pregnant with Daniel.  I hit advanced maternal age in August and now I know why they label it as such.  Because you feel older when you are pregnant at this age.  I thought it was no big deal.  Hollywood moms do it all the time, in their forties but apparently having trainers, nannies, and cooks does make a difference.

John did happen to walk in just as I was pulling down my shirt the other day.  "Mom, wow, you are so beautiful."  He just might be my favorite.

This is likely the last biological Anderson.  Chris brought it up the other night and I found myself agreeing with him.  Which makes me a bit sad that I have not been more joyful about this pregnancy.  It also makes me a bit sad that the being pregnant portion of my life is nearing an end.  We (Chris) decided that since I am already on the table anyway that getting a tubal ligation would be simpler than the other options.  He is right but there is a part of that that makes me feel sad too.

But with a little over 80 days to go until we find out if another boy or our first girl joins Team Anderson I need to get it together.  The list making has begun.  A list of meals to make ahead.  A list of nesting projects I want done.   A list of people to call, text, or Facebook.  And a list of names to consider and ones that are not happening (no Joshua, sorry Chris).

I hate to wish the time away but I would be okay with a fast forward in this case.  Praying for no complications, easy baby, and quick healing.

And so ends the prattle.

For my namesake

She has really done it this time.  My sister (your mom) has done some whoppers in life.  Pushing me out the garage window, tying me up and putting me in a closet, luring me to climb a tree with the ladder only to take it away...just to name a few.  But this time she has REALLY done it.  She went and named you after me. Me!

Lydia Suzanne.  It is a beautiful name that goes with an equally beautiful baby.  You are, you know, beautiful. {And I am sure you will be brilliant because your parents are.}  I'm not entirely sure that your Mama had all her faculties about her when she named you.  It did take a long while for you to decide to make your debut into this cold, bright, loud world.  If she had, she may have remembered there is a lot of baggage that goes with the name Suzanne.  Baggage I will talk to you about as you grow older.  Baggage I hope to help you avoid.

We won't go into it here.  It will shared in moments we get to share together, just you and me.  When I can sneak you away from your protective brothers, loving grandparents, and all the other entourage that will inevitably follow you.

I had special times with the aunt I am named after.  They were some of my most treasured childhood memories.  Unfortunately, that namesake did not turn out to provide the best modelling.  I promise to work hard to do better.  I am not a perfect woman.  I am an extremely talented sinner who bristles at correction but I promise to learn those lessons so I can share them with you.

With all my love and joy,
Auntie Suzanne