...even in Australia

I seem to be having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad time in the motherhood department lately. I was sure that motherhood would be easier the second time around but that has not proven to be true. Certain I would be an expert by now this past week has put me over the edge.
My adorable John has become a mama's boy who breaks into tears every time I place him on the floor. One night I had to just leave him to cry because dinner had to be made and you would have thought I had stolen his puppy the way he looked at me and sobbed. It broke my heart. Several early, early mornings (2:00 AM!) I have lain in bed listening to him wail. Chris nearly has to hold me down because I just can't stand the sound of his angry cry.
Why is he doing this? I am certain Elijah never did. Okay, so I am not certain but I don't remember it. Maybe that is the point. It is hard right now. Sleepless right now. Aggravating right now. But it is only right now. It will not always be right now.

Contentment

Can it really be 2009 already? 2008 was a great year. How could it not have been, it was the year God brought me my sweet John. It was the year Elijah became mostly potty trained. It was the year I jumped out of an airplane!

It was also the year that God brought me to my goal a bit early. Usually I sit and think and pray and ponder over what it is God wants me to work on but this year God brought it right to me. And early on too. In July, I felt God telling me to be content. So I stopped my job search and went about my life. Little did I know God wanted me to be content in all areas of my life. And when I say all I mean all. Let me give you an few examples. I usually get money for my birthday so I can get some new school clothes, but this year I could not find anything. Not one single thing appealed to me. So I looked in my closet and for the first time saw how abundantly clothed I am. Another example comes with my car. The good old Stratus is pushing 162,000 miles, it leaks powerstreering fluid, and has a mystery leak in the exhaust. We decided it was time to trade it in. However, for the past 9 months we have been unable to find another car. We are either moments too late when we call, are not satified when we drive one, or feel we are being cheated with trade-in offers ($200 bucks is the lowest). The car still runs great and serves its purpose so God says be content. (I'm working on it.)

The one area I am not content and where I am sure God would agree I need more is in my relationship with Him. Through Bible study and prayer I have come to know and understand that I need more of Him and less of me. John 15:5 is my memory verse for this week, "I am the vine and you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you; you will bear much fruit. Apart from me you can do nothing." I am striving this year to let the nagging notion of discontentment drive me ever closer to my Father. I cannot be content until my relationship with Him is perfect. I guess that means I will always been striving.

A Christmas Recap

Oh, what a joyful Christmas we had. What made it so joyful? We spent the holiday with family, worshiped with family we have rarely been able to get into a church, and we didn't make it about presents. On Monday we trekked to the Patterson Inn where I spent the night trying to envision how the 6 hour drive would play out and thinking how in love the Western SDers would be with John, who they had not yet met. Tuesday came and went with no hardships. The boys were incredible travelers (thanks in part to the DVD player we borrowed). And Grandpa and Grandma were enamoured with sweet John. Wednesday was a full day of family fun, including an old time photo with all of Chris' family. The best part of the whole day was attending church with Diane and Harlow. Thursday brought another celebration and another first time meeting. We drove down to Rapid City where we celebrated Christmas with Chris' mom, Donna and her new husband. Again, John was instantly googled over, but ultimately Elijah was the star of the show with his movie lines and dance moves. Friday brough a sudden illness for me but Elijah had the "best day" because he got to stay in his jammies all day. Saturday was another travel day, which again proved to be blessed since the boys slept all the way to Chamberlain! (That is 4 hours and over lunch) Saturday night and Sunday we were blessed with time with Sara, Andy, Josiah, Isaiah, Grandpa Tim, and Grandma Barb.
All in all it was such a blessed Christmas. I felt the magnitude of God's gift more this year than ever before as I watched my boys and visited with family.

Propel

Yesterday John worked overtime to get to one of Elijah's toys. I thought it was cute but it didn't really occurr to me that it this meant that when motivated, John is mobile. I showed Chris John's new skill and we agreed that he isn't really crawling but he sure can propel himself.

ps..Elijah wanted to be on video too but he wasn't playing my reindeer games.

Revival of Love

Chris and I had the honor of witnessing the nuptuals of friends, Laura and Greg. It has been a long time since I attended a Christian wedding so I forgot that I usual cry at these events. I was immediately brought to tears when a radiant Laura floated down the aisle to the same song I walked down to. No, not the wedding march, but Agnus Dei. Later I was again in tears as the pastor implored the newlyweds to RUN. Run toward one another with Unfailing love, Never forgeting God. It reminded me of the message at Chris and I's wedding. He told us to always be the first to apologize; to always work together in everything. At the end of the ceremony I was again in tears as I noticed how moved Chris was.

Every couple should attend a Christian wedding once a year. It really renews your belief in human love. I have found that I am more patient, more accepting, and generally more loving of my husband since the wedding.