Parenting Me

Chris was gone for the better part of a week recently.  That means a giant spotlight shines on my parenting inadequacies.  In the midst of a particularly challenging moment I was nearly brought to tears.  The Lord whispered in my ear, "He is just like you as a child."

And he is.

Just like me.

Hiding during chores, waiting for others to do what he can clearly do himself, so concerned about what others are doing and thinking and saying that he cannot possibly get his own work done, speaking without thinking, lashing out in anger, crying in frustration, lying to save himself from trouble, leaving his things strewn about, distracted so easily he cannot get ready for school in the morning without ten reminders...

And that scares me tremendously.

I perhaps turned out "okay" (the jury is still out on that) but that is only by a miracle.  I cannot expect two such miracles in my lifetime. Can I?

So I pray.  Fiercely calling on God to rescue him from himself.  To protect him from himself.  To equip me to mother a child who is so like me that I get frustrated and angry.  I give him a fullness of grace that overshadows all the other things. A heart that strives to please God, and God alone.