The Proposal

Chris and I try to watch The Office together each week. When Chris is out of town we save it for when he gets home. This week's episode has the main character Michael proposing to the woman of his dreams, Holly. It got me thinking about the night of my proposal.

It was New Years Eve, 1998 (almost 1999). I had joined Chris for the holiday in the Black Hills. It was a cold, but not bitter night. We ate dinner at the Franklin Hotel, where Chris used to work. It was delicious. After dinner we went up to Terry Peak Summit. A beautiful look out, although a bit windy at that time of year. As we drove up there Chris spent a lot of time talking about all the great times we had spent together. When we parked the car Chris played the song "If You Could See What I See", a song he said he would only play for the woman he would marry. When we got up the lookout I was suspicious but still not convinced that he was really going to propose. This was the man who insisted that he graduate from chiropractic school before he got married. We looked out at the night. It was clear and beautiful (and windy). One moment I was looking at the stars and the next Chris was on his knee with a beautiful ring. I'm not sure what exactly he said, I was so shocked. I just remember him asking, "Will you marry me?" I remember saying, "Yes."

It is one of the best yeses I have ever given. I love my husband more today than I did 11 1/2 years ago.

Dear John,

Dear John,

I love you. I love your blue eyes. I love the way you say "Lub you". I love the way you take your brother down with no fear whatsoever. I love that you keep telling me I am your bestest buddy. I love you. Really.

What I am wondering is, if you wouldn't consider using all your knowledge about going potty and actually do it. All of the time. You know, like the big boy you keep telling me you are. It frustrates Mommy a little bit (okay a lot) that you know what to do but don't do it. It also frustrates me that you only want to go potty when Mommy's hand are otherwise occupied, say cooking a fabulous dinner that you won't eat.

I was certain the "Great M&M Bribe" of 2011 would do the trick but you are too smart for that. Daddy was certain the "John Deere Tractor Trade" of 2010 would do the trick but you were too smart for that one too. That's the trouble, isn't it, John. You are too smart for all of us.

Well, like I said. I love you. Just go potty!

A Psalm by Suzanne

A couple years ago I assigned my beloved Sevies to write an original psalm. To be fair I wrote one too. I came across it while decluttering some files. It amazes me, and frankly disgusts me that I can still be in the same spot again, two years later.

Your beauty is all around me,

yet my heart is not satisfied.

Your love has set me free,

but still I am enslaved.

Why am I always floundering about

searching for answers only You can give?

The desires of the world push the desires

of my heart down so deep.

Holy Father satisfy my heart;

Amazing God free me from slavery;

Faithful Friend help me to seek your counsel.

I praise Your holy name

Strengthen me

Sanctify me

Fill me

Oh, Holy Spirit

Set my focus on You;

Set my feet on Your path

I praise Your Holy name.

Songs by John

An Update on the 30 day Challenge

I am 25 days into the 30 day challenge. I have missed two days. I wish I could say I was a transformed woman. I wish I could say the Word was with me all day. I can't say that.

What I can say is that I know God hears me (Psalm 17:6; Psalm 54:2). I know God does not withold favor from those who walk is blameless (Psalm 84:11-12). I know that if I trust in God my circumstances will not shake me (Psalm 125:1). I know that hope in the Lord lifts my soul (Psalm 42:11). I know that God will reveal my offensive ways and create in me a clean heart (Psalm 139:23-24; Psalm 51:10). I know God is my shield, my peace, my strength (Psalm 112:1, Psalm 119:165, Psalm 7:10). I know that God finishes what He starts (Psalm 138:8).

I can also say that I needed to hear all of those things. I feel connected (most of the time) and that is huge. I can say that journaling has helped me process what I have read and those entries are creating a wonderful dialogue.